INBOX for escordvi

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You're reached Darin Altway, Master Blacksmith! Got something that needs doing? Just let me know you're fixin' for and I'll fix it right up for ya!

Comments

[thearchangel]

Hey, that's your problem.

She's not my superior officer. I don't have to make a report.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[There's a couple of minutes before he responds.]

Honestly maybe we better not. I'm sure I'd survive but Zelda doesn't like seeing me get hurt and I don't want to put her through that because I thought I was invincible.

[thearchangel]

Ah.

You know, you're not beating the "I have feelings" allegations right now.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WHAT'S SO WRONG ABOUT BEING CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR FRIEND'S FEELINGS, GARRUS?!

[thearchangel]

Nothing, nothing.

I just know that I've never tried to spare Tali's feelings for my stunts. Not like this, anyway.

[Garrus that's because your relationship with Tali is a shitty sibling relationship.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Hey Garrus that might be because you're a jerk.

Seriously, she's just a girl that I am good friends with.

[thearchangel]

What, me? Never. She's one of my oldest friends. If I really bothered her that much, she'd have shot me. Point blank. With her shotgun.

Uh huh. All right.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

See this is why Zelda's better.

She just chained me up with light shackles till I listened to her.

[thearchangel]

...



Huh. I didn't know you were into that.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Into what?

I kinda deserved it I was being an ass.

[thearchangel]

Into being tied up, Darin.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Yeah I like being busy what's your point?

[thearchangel]

Okay there's no way you're that dense.

It's a kink thing. Restraints. Bondage. Being tied up for fun.

1/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[A half hour passes before Garrus' shellphone blows up.]

IT'S WHAT?!?!?!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WE WEREN'T

[forgeabettertomorrow]

GARRUS SHE WASN'T TYINGGD ME UP

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I WAS BEING BAD AND SHE WAS TRYING TO MAKE ME KNEEL AND

[forgeabettertomorrow]

BUT NOT LIKE THAT!!!!!!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

SHE WAS TRYING TO GET ME INTO BED GARRUS AND I WAS FIGHTING HER!!!!!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

LITERALLY NOTHING HAPPENED WE JUST SLEPT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I WAS DYING GARRUS I NEEDED IT YOU DON'T GET IT

[forgeabettertomorrow]

GARRUS!!!!!!!!!

DONE

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I CAN LITERALLY HEAR YOUR SMUG GRIN YOU STUPID SPACE LIZARD BASTARD THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BETWEEN US

[thearchangel]

[He'd gone off to clean his rifle in the pause. And then, once the phone started going crazy, just... keeps cleaning it.]

[Waiting.]

[Waiting...]

[Wow he's really losing his mind over this, isn't he.]

[As payback, because Garrus Vakarian is a jackass like this, he waits enough 30 minutes before responding. Have fun with that, bestie.]

Are you done? I've got another gun to clean if you have more kinks to work out. I mean, the restraints bit I got but... 'being bad'?

Damn.

[He's saving all of these for posterity. By the way.]