INBOX for escordvi

[forgeabettertomorrow]

You're reached Darin Altway, Master Blacksmith! Got something that needs doing? Just let me know you're fixin' for and I'll fix it right up for ya!

Comments

[thearchangel]

Into being tied up, Darin.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Yeah I like being busy what's your point?

[thearchangel]

Okay there's no way you're that dense.

It's a kink thing. Restraints. Bondage. Being tied up for fun.

1/???

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[A half hour passes before Garrus' shellphone blows up.]

IT'S WHAT?!?!?!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

WE WEREN'T

[forgeabettertomorrow]

GARRUS SHE WASN'T TYINGGD ME UP

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I WAS BEING BAD AND SHE WAS TRYING TO MAKE ME KNEEL AND

[forgeabettertomorrow]

BUT NOT LIKE THAT!!!!!!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

SHE WAS TRYING TO GET ME INTO BED GARRUS AND I WAS FIGHTING HER!!!!!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO TAKE CARE OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

LITERALLY NOTHING HAPPENED WE JUST SLEPT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I WAS DYING GARRUS I NEEDED IT YOU DON'T GET IT

[forgeabettertomorrow]

GARRUS!!!!!!!!!

DONE

[forgeabettertomorrow]

I CAN LITERALLY HEAR YOUR SMUG GRIN YOU STUPID SPACE LIZARD BASTARD THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BETWEEN US

[thearchangel]

[He'd gone off to clean his rifle in the pause. And then, once the phone started going crazy, just... keeps cleaning it.]

[Waiting.]

[Waiting...]

[Wow he's really losing his mind over this, isn't he.]

[As payback, because Garrus Vakarian is a jackass like this, he waits enough 30 minutes before responding. Have fun with that, bestie.]

Are you done? I've got another gun to clean if you have more kinks to work out. I mean, the restraints bit I got but... 'being bad'?

Damn.

[He's saving all of these for posterity. By the way.]

[forgeabettertomorrow]

[Darin was losing his mind thanks. Maybe if he hit the water sprinting he can move fast enough to run to the other side of the world.]

[When Garrus finally responds he dives for his phone.]

SHUT UP!!!

Starting to think Dromas was onto something and that violence might be the answer!!

[thearchangel]

[This is so funny. This is hilarious. Oh no.]

I haven't said a word. I've just typed. This whole time.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN DAMMIT

SERIOUSLY WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK I EVEN LIKE HER THAT WAY??

[thearchangel]

Do I?

I don't know. The capslock, probably.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

Whats a capslock I don't know as much about guns as you do

[thearchangel]

It's WHEN YOU MAKE THE LETTERS BIG LIKE THIS, DARIN.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

No thats yelling why are you yelling at me now?

[thearchangel]

No.

That's typing in all caps. Caps as in capitals.

[forgeabettertomorrow]

What were we talking about again?

[thearchangel]

Your crush on the good doctor Zelda.

[She's a researcher, so naturally, she's probably got a doctorate or something.]