You were paying someone to— [Another audible huff.]
Give me ten minutes and I'll be right over.
[He hangs up before she can protest and tosses his pack to the side.]
[It takes him a little longer than expected...but only because Darin stopped off at a shop to load up on first aid supplies. He has no idea what Zelda has on hand (which could have been addressed if he'd worked up the nerve to just call her again) and he is woefully under-stocked for himself; a problem he's never had to address given his natural healing ability.]
[He knocks on her door with the back of his hand and when she opens the door, she'll find him laden with all types of first aid supplies.]
...I didn't know what you had so uh...I came prepared?
[He's literally realizing how stupid he looks in this exact moment. He should have just called to check! But that's what happens when you act before thinking.]
[ Indeed, Zelda starts to protest-- and then the call abruptly ends.
Well. That isn't at all how she thought this conversation was going to go. All she intended to do when she reached out to Darin was ask him to take photographs of the crater for her, since she won't be able to go herself. She hadn't meant to upset him and she definitely didn't intend for him to drop everything and rush to her home.
When Darin arrives at Zelda's small apartment home, she greets him with an apologetic smile and a quirk of her brow at his abundance of supplies. It looks like almost enough to stock an entire clinic in itself. Did he perhaps not know what to bring and decided to err on the side of caution by bringing everything? How much does a man with enhanced healing really know about first aid? Zelda doubts he has much need for it himself.
But she truly appreciates it, nodding gratefully as she steps aside to allow him inside. ] Thank you. I've not had an opportunity to replenish my own stock since the attack.
[ Zelda's apartment isn't much to look at: a few small rooms containing a variety of mismatched pieces of furniture. The front door opens to the largest room, a space that could generously be described as "multi-use." There is a round table with two chairs (because having only one looked unbearably lonely), a cushioned chair next to a window, a desk with yet another chair pushed against one of the walls, and sets of shelves here and there wherever they can it. The far end of the room is an open space containing the kitchen, outfitted with the basics and little more.
She leads Darin to the table, which is covered in a bright yellow tablecloth embroidered with a sunflower motif. A few jars of ointments and small box of cloth bandages sit upon one side of the table. On the other end is a basket containing a torn crimson vest and holster carrying a handgun-- things that don't look like they belong to Zelda. ]
[Darin scans the apartment with veiled interest; he notices the vest and handgun but doesn't say anything despite the apparent urge to ask about them. They don't seem like Zelda's but...then again, how much does he really know about her?]
[Considering what he can see of her apartment, she's not one for extravagance...which he can relate to. Darin felt much more at home in a forge and considering his home and his old forge were linked, 'home' was more about a place to sleep and a place to work rather than anything else. Darin could barely even remember his old home; the cabin he shared with his brother and father. That had been burned down when he was a child and hardly any memory remained of it.]
[Honestly, Darin had a lot of thoughts on the concept of 'home' but none he'd be willing to share with anyone just yet.]
[He moves to the table and places the bags of first aid supplies on the table, then gestures for Zelda to sit while he pulls up a chair in front of her.]
Alright...let's see the damage.
[His face looks serious but that's because he's trying not to show too much concern. His voice betrays him, though.]
[ Zelda sits as directed while Darin pulls up the other chair. The chairs, like the table and the rest of the furniture, are sturdy and well crafted, but worn with age-- all items purchased by a woman with limited funds at her disposal. The nicest things in the apartment are the ones she sewed herself, such as the tablecloth and a throw blanket covering the ugly upholstery of the cushioned chair by the window. Her apartment lacks much of the coziness of the home in Hateno she shared with Link, but it's a start.
She nods as she lifts her right arm for him. The cloth bandage wrapped neatly around her arm from wrist to elbow is still nice and clean, proof that Zelda is being careful not to use this arm very much. ]
I was, yes. [ And he said he was as well, something she'll want to ask him about too. ] The spirit took the form of my father and on the first night it visited me, I thought it was truly him. It looked and sounded just like him... it even had his memories. Even after I realized it was draining my essence, I couldn't bring myself to drive it away.
On the second night that it visited me, a man I met on Naughtilust approached us outside. He saw how the ghost was draining me and intervened to protect me. He did... something, I don't know what, but he forced the ghost to transform and it attacked us. I tried to stay out of the way, but there was another spirit near by, the one that had been haunting him, and it caught me.
[ She leaves her story hanging there as she watches Darin handle her arm. It doesn't feel necessary to trouble him with the rest... ]
[Darin unties and unravels the bandage quickly and carefully— the dexterous hands of a craftsman making short work of exposing the wound. Darin may never really need to perform first aid on himself, but that doesn't mean he's unable to dress a wound. He'd often helped his adopted father with any injuries he might have sustained and he'd spent enough time with the Arclight Knights along with his mentor to know how to properly treat a wound.]
I didn't know your father was dead...I'm sorry. That...must have been a nightmare.
[There's a pause as Darin inspects the wound and starts to pull out some supplies; antiseptic, gauze, bandages...a box of band-aids featuring a colorful, animated yellow sponge falls out of the bag and he quickly shoves it back in.]
...Mine took the form of my brother. The first night he was...about seven years old. The age when I lost him. The next...
[He pauses as if he's searching for the words to continue. In truth, he has the words...but the connotations would lead to more questions.]
...The next night, he turned into a monstrosity. He was more than just a danger to me.
[ Zelda nods wordlessly at his assessment. Yes, it was a nightmare... and has been haunting hers ever since. The way his features melt like wax, revealing a skeletal fiend underneath. The things he said, how he worried she had forgotten him, how he encouraged her to make up for her mistakes by giving him her life. Even knowing it wasn't really her father, it looked and sounded just like him, making the experience that much more difficult to put out of her mind.
Underneath the bandages is a square of gauze which covers the wound on the top of her forearm. It is not cut or slash, but a large puncture wound, about the size of a coin, closed and scabbed over. The swelling around it is minimal and there is no sign of infection. It has clearly been well cared for and should fully heal without leaving behind any permanent damage.
Zelda listens with a serious expression, lips drawing into a line as Darin describes his ghost. A brother, lost as a child. Darin has never mentioned a brother before. ]
Dangerous how? [ She probes gently, knowing how easily she can set him off when she asks more than he's willing to share. ]
[Darin's eye twitches as he visibly resists a wince when he uncovers the wound. Darin might heal from physical damage faster than most people but he still feels pain. And this wound would have especially hurt. He examines how far along she's healed and looks for any inflammation or infection. Satisfied that Zelda had been properly taking care of it, he begins the treatment while he talks.]
...He's my twin. I wasn't the only one born with my abilities. His name is—was— Dromas. Same face but his hair is a deeper, moss green. Kinda wild, down to his shoulders.
[Surely Zelda can imagine that a man with Darin's strength would be dangerous but his explanation might not make sense. If Dromas died as a child, why would he be dangerous now? Even with his supposed strength, a child would have a significant disadvantage...]
[Darin's hands move deftly; gentle and precise despite the hardened callouses on his fingers and palms. Twenty years in the forge have made his hands strong and hard but it's apparent from his control that he's used to being as careful as he can be. He sprays the wound carefully with antiseptic and carefully places a new square of gauze over it; the wound might be scabbed but one wrong move could reopen it again. Then, he holds one end of the bandage with his thumb just below the inside of her elbow.]
Hold here, please?
[Once she's got it pinned, he begins to wrap.]
...It's my fault he died in the first place. Always was afraid he'd haunt me just never expected it here and now.
[ The mention that his brother shared his same abilities is all the explanation Zelda feels she needs to understand why the monster his ghost transformed into would be a danger. Even though the spirits were not actually the people they took the shape of, they somehow mimicked their abilities. A monster possessing Darin's abilities as well as the ability to siphon someone's vitality would be a formidable foe.
No, what catches Zelda's attention is how Darin insists that he is responsible for his brother's death. That... That can't be right. It doesn't matter that she doesn't know the circumstances that lead to Dromas' death; there's no way Darin intentionally killed his own brother. They were only children. Whatever happened, whether an accident or something worse, the fault could not possibly lie with Darin-- with either of them. She refuses to entertain the thought that he was any less a victim than his brother.
However, Zelda keep this conclusion to herself as she quietly holds the end of the bandage in place. It's not her place to speak on something she knows nothing about and doubtless all she'll manage to do is upset Darin. ]
That soul was not truly his. [ She offers. ] It was... blank, originally. Somehow, you imprinted your memories of your brother onto it and that is why it took his form.
[ Rem said that was just a theory, but having had time to think about it, it makes the most sense. ]
[Darin wouldn't really get upset if Zelda had fought him on his insistence that he's the reason for his brother's death. He'd heard much the same from both Acteon and Kessler; two men he held in the highest regard.]
[But the fact remains that the events of that night are forever burned into his memory and the lone scar across his back will forever mark that night. Darin was a notorious crybaby as a child; always hiding behind his twin brother who was the more vocal of the two. That night, when they were attacked, Darin was supposed to be the first to be cut down.]
[But he ran and Dromas had stood between him and his assailant. The blade passed clean through and tore through Darin's back. Then, his father fell. And Darin hid under his fallen body, pretending to be dead, holding in his cries until their assailants left.]
[If Darin were braver, Darin would have been the one cut down first. Dromas would have survived, probably. And then...maybe all of the things happening bak home wouldn't be happening.]
[He's about to tie off the bandage when Zelda explains the source of the phantoms and that makes his gaze snap up incredulously.]
Y...You mean...
You mean Dromas wasn't— [He has to pause and physically swallow the lump forming in his throat.]
[ Oh. That's a look she hasn't seen on his face before. Nor an emotion she's heard in his voice either, something so raw and vulnerable and choked up. Zelda is a little taken aback by the way he looks up at her, but her expression quickly softens and she shakes her head in affirmation. ]
It wasn't, no. Nor was my father. They were more like... empty vessels, I think, souls who had somehow forgotten who they once were. They escaped from their caretaker and spread throughout the leviathans. I believe they sought us out in order to siphon our life energy so that they might live again.
[ She knows more, but this is as much as she'll share. Whoever-- whatever-- Rem is, it's not for Zelda to share her secrets.
Thus, she pivots the conversation just slightly. ] Were you injured?
[Darin might be looking at her but it's evident from the expression on his face he's looking miles beyond her. If what Zelda was saying was true then...then Dromas hadn't actually been here. No one on this world was in danger— at least, not any more danger than they'd be in with him here.]
[It takes him a minute to regain himself, to realize that Zelda had even asked him a question. His attention snaps back to the task at hand and he lowers his head to focus more on tying off the bandage. It's neat and snug, tight enough to keep the wound safely covered but comfortable enough that Zelda won't lose any circulation.]
[With that done, Darin nods a bit and lifts an arm to remove one of the bracers covering his forearms. Zelda will see a massive bruise going from wrist to elbow; evidence that his forearms were at least cracked if not outright broken. But the discoloration denotes that he's already mostly healed.]
[He doesn't clasp the bracer back on right away.]
I...like I said, the first night my brother was a child. The next...he was my age. Which...it's a long and complicated story but before I left my world he'd come back and he...he wasn't the same. He was strong. Stronger than me. And angry.
So...hearing that it wasn't actually him...
[It's a relief. A clear relief. And he can't find the words to finish his sentence.]
[ Zelda draws back her freshly bandaged arm and rests it in her lap, brows furrowing as her eyes roam over the bruise Darin reveals to her. Knowing what she knows of how quickly he heals, if this is what still remains several days later, his injuries must have been severe. Her left hand twitches with the urge to reach out and offer aid, but there's little to be done at this stage, so she holds herself back.
Besides, what he says is just as worrying as what he must have gone through. ]
[Darin's quiet and Zelda can likely sense why. Discussing this is not only incredibly personal but it could lead to further questions. Questions about the nature and origin of his powers. The prophecy. Everything he is.]
[His hands ball into fists briefly. What happens if he tells her? Would she be scared of him? He wouldn't blame her but...]
[But Zelda is pretty much his first friend. And somehow she's managed to want to stick around despite the fact he's been an incredible ass to her.]
[He clasps the bracer back onto his arm.]
I don't know the details. [It's not a lie. He doesn't know everything about how Dromas came back. Just that he was somehow given a new body and raised in the realm of the Archfiends.]
Not...all of them. But he's alive. And...he hates me. Before I arrived here I was on the run. Being hunted down for an assassination I didn't commit. There was an eye witness...someone saw a man who looked exactly like me with blue hair. So...that's all they needed. I was in Arclight that day and people...
Well, people didn't need much of a reason to suspect me.
[He stands and starts to pace, running a hand through his hair, pointedly avoiding eye contact.]
Long story short, I escaped and chased down the guy who framed me. It...It was Dromas.
He'd dyed his hair blue knowing I'd be blamed. He wanted me to find him.
[And then he massacred the entire city of Eruyeka just to prove a point. To show Darin how strong he should be.]
[ Zelda knows that Darin doesn't particularly like to talk about personal matters. It's always a gamble whether he'll be willing to open up or whether he'll be cagey and defensive. So when he is initially hesitant to answer, she mentally prepares for the latter... and is surprised when she receives the former instead.
Her expression turns serious as she listens. It's a lot to take in all at once: a twin brother with the same abilities, who either died and returned to life or nearly died and miraculously survived; an assassination that he framed Darin for, perhaps solely for the purpose of getting his attention; and Darin living as a fugitive until he arrived here. This, coupled with what she already knows about him... it's no wonder he's so distrusting. ]
I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to see him again... even if it wasn't truly his spirit that you met. [ She offers sympathetically, watching him as he paces. ] Especially considering...
[ Especially considering what happened before Darin arrived here. Especially considering there might be more that he's not telling her, and given everything he has told her, Zelda does not want to prod him further. ]
[There's more. Gods, there's so much more. Darin stops with his back to Zelda and she can see his hands clenching and relaxing as he wrestles with his own thoughts. Part of him wants to turn around and gauge her expression; he's good at that. He can read people. He can see the exact moment where pity or condescension for the 'poor demonkin' slips into a person's eyes coming from a mile away.]
[He doesn't want Zelda to pity him despite believing he truly is the most pitiable man ever.]
[But Dromas— the real one from his world— had made his intentions clear. He wanted to break Darin. To take away all of the comforts he'd known. Make him snap so that he could bring about the prophecy. The end of the world; the destruction of mankind. He hated that Darin got to live and he hadn't and he said as much before they parted. That Darin's was an idyllic life that a coward like him didn't deserve.]
[He decides to keep that to himself. Any mention of Dromas' intentions are likely to lead into a conversation about their origins. What they're meant to do. Keep it simple, Darin...]
He hated that I got to live. Hated me. I don't blame him. But coming here...I thought it might have been a blessing. I thought that maybe he'd never find me. So, when I saw him I thought...I thought this world was in danger because of me.
[He sighs and drags a hand down his face.]
But it's fine. It's fine, like you said. It wasn't him. Everyone's safe.
[He glances over his shoulder and smiles weakly at Zelda.]
[ Hatred. What a terrible thing to hear from one's own family. Even when things were at their worst between Zelda and her father, he never said he hated her. And she never hated him, not truly. She thought she did, at times during her adolescence, when all of her prayers and training yielded no results and her father refused to give her the comfort and encouragement she longed for. But deep down, she always loved him.
Could the same be true of Darin's brother? Perhaps it's naive, but Zelda hopes so. She does not have any siblings of her own, but she remembers Link with his sister and Mipha with Sidon and can't imagine hatred between them.
A thought she keeps to herself.
Darin glances back at her and Zelda sees that... he doesn't look good. What pity and sympathy he might have briefly seen in her expression disappear and worry takes their place. It seems like he's trying to deflect and change the subject, but he still seems tense and troubled.
She rises from her chair and walks over to him, shaking her head as she approaches. ] It is fine. You tied it well.
[ Zelda reaches out with her left hand to touch his arm, tilting her head inquisitively as she looks up at him. He doesn't seem like he's all right; he's avoided looking at her since he stood up. She searches his expression for an explanation. ] Are you all right?
[Darin looks down at Zelda's hand on his arm. She might feel his muscle tense and flinch; it's not that he fears physical contact. Far from it, actually. Darin's been known to ignore personal space but that's always been on his terms.]
[It's general kindness and gentleness that he's less accustomed to. To say that Darin is touch-starved is an understatement. Acteon loved Darin with all of his heart but the man was about as gentle as a bomb. Punches in the shoulder, claps on the back and chest, and a hair tousle that would knock your brain around were his preferred methods of affection and that's what Darin's known for as long as he can remember.]
[To his credit though, he doesn't pull away or outright rebuff her. He's trying.]
[And it's evident on his features. When he lifts his gaze to Zelda it's fearful. Anxious. But he doesn't like that side of him. That part of him that's still the scared, crybaby child. His life since the night he lost his brother and father was dominated by one thought: "How would Dromas act?" It gave him courage and a persona to be someone people might actually like.]
[If anyone knew the real Darin...well, no one would like that person. Darin couldn't stand him.]
[He manages a grin. That damnable mask is up once more.]
I'm...I'm fine. It was just a lot. And...like I said, Dromas is dangerous. He's a lot stronger than I am. He seems to know how to use his abilities. Dromas was always physically stronger...I was just more resilient. So when I saw him transform into that...thing...I dunno. I thought he was going to take away the place I was starting to have here.
[ Zelda expects him to flinch and pull away from her, so she's surprised when only one of those things happens. Darin never seems to have much of a problem intruding on her personal space, but he tends to react unfavorably when she intrudes on his. In that regard, he reminds of how Link used to act, back when Zelda first started to bridge the gulf between them. Link used to go completely rigid whenever Zelda so much as accidentally brushed against him. He was so high strung back then, never relaxing, never letting his guard down for a minute. It took a long time for him to learn to relax around Zelda, and even longer to stop jumping whenever she touched him.
She catches that moment of honesty in Darin's visage, but he whisks it away almost immediately. That fear is clearly something he doesn't want her to see.
But, having seen it, she now reads it between his words. He's... still quite shaken from this encounter, even though he seems to want her to believe that he isn't. That he mentions Dromas knows how to use their unique abilities sticks out to Zelda. As does his worry that Dromas was going to take away Darin's place here. ]
You were able to stop him, though. [ She counters gently. ]
[That draws a sardonic laugh from his lips as he turns back towards the table.]
Here? Barely. I had help at the last second and if I hadn't, I was going to do my damndest to take him with me. I'm not letting what happened to Eruteka happen here.
[He catches the slip and winces. Time to try and change the subject.]
You said you saw your father...? What was he like? Was he a researcher like you?
[ Well that's not the reaction she was hoping for. Here she is, trying to be encouraging because he seems upset, and he brushes her off. First he confides in her, then he throws up his walls again. It's like there's a time limit to his honesty; once the time's up, all hope for a proper conversation is over.
But worse than that is what he actually says, implying that he was willing to give up his own life in order to keep the monster that took the form of Dromas from doing harm.
And then Darin has the audacity to decide that no, he's done with this conversation. The abrupt change in his attitude makes the usually-patient Zelda bristle. ]
My father? [ She frowns, striding around him to stand beside her table. ] No, don't you try to change the subject. What happened?
What happened? Someone came and helped. I got to watch my brother die again, this time by my own hand. What more do you want? What, you want a play-by-play?
[Or was she talking about Eruyeka? Like hell he was going to tell her that. Darin already said Dromas was stronger than him, she doesn't need to know he wiped out a city. He doesn't need anyone else to know how much of a danger he could be simply by existing here.]
[He glowers down at her.]
Or, maybe you're the one who doesn't wanna talk now?? It's easier to pry into someone else's life isn't it?
[ This is hardly the first time Zelda has been on the receiving end of Darin's attitude, so she doesn't balk at it. She remains beside the table, right arm held carefully in front of her, challenging him on his attempt to intimidate her. ]
I will tell you everything you want to know about my father, but not until you tell me what you are so afraid of. You cannot simply tell me that you were prepared to use your own life to end his and expect me to leave it at that.
[ Originally, she intended to be more gentle about this. Everything he's already shared about his brother paints a troubling picture, to say the least. But she isn't going to allow him to attack her like this when all she's trying to do is understand what he went through. ]
Who the hell cares?! If that's what has to happen to keep Eltrut or any of the other cities from being lost, then that's a damn small price to pay!
[Darin lowers himself closer to Zelda's face as he gestures sharply to the side with his right arm.]
What the hell does it even matter to you?! You barely know me! I saved your life once and for some reason you've got me painted as some...some paragon of virtue! I acted without thinking! I'm not some damn hero or champion or anything, Zelda! I'm just a blacksmith who doesn't want to see people die anymore!
[He whips around and makes for the door, but stops. he runs both hands through his hair in frustration, then whips around again.]
You want to know why I was prepared to use my own life?? Fine! When I met Dromas in Eruyeka before I got here, he wanted to prove a point. Namely, the fact that I'm supposed to be a lot more powerful than I am. And he decided to prove his point by wiping Eruyeka off the map. It's gone. The city, the people. He killed them all and used his powers to turn every building, every body into a spire. "A monument to mark the beginning of our destiny" he called it.
[He hates this. He hates recounting the events of that day. But somewhere deep in his mind, he thinks that maybe he can scare Zelda. Make her believe he's dangerous. Too much trouble. He couldn't push her away by being abrasive and cagey so maybe it's time he just tries to make her fear him.]
[He gestures wide and grans as he recounts the story, straightening up to his full height as if he were regaling her with some incredible tale or legend. And when he's done, he holds his ground; chest puffed out, hands clenched at his sides. Resolute.]
I didn't want that for Eltrut. I couldn't live with myself if that happened again. If I have to go down to make sure no one else has to suffer, Zelda, I will do it without a second thought because who the hell am I to weigh my stupid life against everyone else's? Against all of you.
[And there's the crux of it. His life isn't worth the same as anyone else's. In his eyes, it never has been. And so he'd gladly sacrifice it if it meant those more deserving got to keep theirs. Losing him would be better for everyone anyway, in the end. If he's gone, there's no prophecy.]
[ It's decidedly more difficult to hold her ground when he starts shouting at her, but she somehow manages... even though a faint tremor runs through her form. She's not scared of him-- not scared that he'll hurt her, at least-- but his outburst is still frightening in itself. Rarely does anyone lose their temper with a princess.
For a moment, she worries that she's gone too far when he strides towards the door and she wonders frantically if she should try to stop him. The last time she tried to stop someone from leaving her home, they attacked her and then ran off anyway. Zelda feels like she knows Darin better than she knows Louis, but he also just yelled at her that she doesn't.
But he stays anyway and Zelda listens in silence as he lets out all his anger and all his fear. At the end of his story, she's shaken, this time visibly, and steadies herself with her left hand against the tabletop. No wonder he fears his own power-- to see it used not only to snuff out an entire city, but to warp even the bodies of the dead into something twisted and frightening.
If Darin had stopped there, he might have succeeded in actually scaring Zelda (at least temporarily). It's terrifying to imagine how his strength could be used to effortlessly kill everyone on Eltrut. But he doesn't stop, and when she hears what she knows to be the heart of the matter (because Zelda knows, better than most, about sacrificing oneself to protect others), her fear immediately dissipates. Over and over he insists that he is not selfless, not heroic, not virtuous, and yet in the next breath insists that use his own life to protect everyone else's.
But it doesn't come from a place of altruism, does it? It comes from a place of deserving... or, in this case, undeserving. ]
You truly think your life is worth less than anyone else's? [ The harshness is gone from her tone, but her question is still a challenge against him. ]
[Darin stands rigid, his heavy breathing flaring his nostrils. Fists balled at his sides so tight his nails have dug into the callouses; his knuckles bone white.]
[But he doesn't back down. If Zelda really desired to know, then fine. Fine. She can pity him and understand why he won't change his mind on this.]
You want to know who I am, Zelda? Really know?
My name is Darin Altway. The mere act of being born cost my mother her life. As a child, I survived an attack that I shouldn't have. An attack that took my brother Dromas, and my father Dracer. I ran and my brother tried to save me. He got cut down and all I bore was the scar across my back.
People with hair like mine are rumored to be descended from demons. The first thing I remember when I woke up in a strange bed, bandaged and clinging to life were adults arguing over who would take "The Cursed Child." And for a year, that's what I was. A burden to be passed around. No one wanted me. Everyone was afraid that keeping me around would lead them to the same fate as my family. No one had the courage to put me in an orphanage because "they owed it to my father" but apparently they didn't owe him enough to actually want me around.
[As he talks, his voice grows more somber. He laughs at that last sentence; a cold and bitter, mocking laugh.]
It's only by a miracle that Acteon took me in. And the only reason he didn't do it sooner is because he thought others were more well-suited to take care of a child. If it hadn't been for him, I would have been sent to an orphanage and no doubt conscripted into the army when I was old enough.
I hide my strength because people are scared of me. When I healed from something that should have killed me, people thought I was a monster. That sooner or later I'd become something terrifying. That I'd hurt them.
[He keeps the prophecy to himself. Dromas had only told Darin about it at their meeting in Eruyeka and talking about it felt like it might manifest somehow.]
So you tell me: is my life really worth the same as anyone else's? Because if it was, why didn't anyone want me? If the cost of saving a city is one life, why not the one that nobody wanted? No one would miss it.
[The lump is back in his throat. Darin wears his heart on his sleeve, earnest and true. And admitting now, with his own voice, that he was never wanted cuts deeper than the blade that tried to cleave him as a child. He doesn't want to be a bad man. But the world decided he was and fate seemed to conspire with them. All he wants is to do one good thing with his life. Even if he's never wanted, even if no one remembers him, it would validate his existence.]
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no subject
Give me ten minutes and I'll be right over.
[He hangs up before she can protest and tosses his pack to the side.]
[It takes him a little longer than expected...but only because Darin stopped off at a shop to load up on first aid supplies. He has no idea what Zelda has on hand (which could have been addressed if he'd worked up the nerve to just call her again) and he is woefully under-stocked for himself; a problem he's never had to address given his natural healing ability.]
[He knocks on her door with the back of his hand and when she opens the door, she'll find him laden with all types of first aid supplies.]
...I didn't know what you had so uh...I came prepared?
[He's literally realizing how stupid he looks in this exact moment. He should have just called to check! But that's what happens when you act before thinking.]
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Well. That isn't at all how she thought this conversation was going to go. All she intended to do when she reached out to Darin was ask him to take photographs of the crater for her, since she won't be able to go herself. She hadn't meant to upset him and she definitely didn't intend for him to drop everything and rush to her home.
When Darin arrives at Zelda's small apartment home, she greets him with an apologetic smile and a quirk of her brow at his abundance of supplies. It looks like almost enough to stock an entire clinic in itself. Did he perhaps not know what to bring and decided to err on the side of caution by bringing everything? How much does a man with enhanced healing really know about first aid? Zelda doubts he has much need for it himself.
But she truly appreciates it, nodding gratefully as she steps aside to allow him inside. ] Thank you. I've not had an opportunity to replenish my own stock since the attack.
[ Zelda's apartment isn't much to look at: a few small rooms containing a variety of mismatched pieces of furniture. The front door opens to the largest room, a space that could generously be described as "multi-use." There is a round table with two chairs (because having only one looked unbearably lonely), a cushioned chair next to a window, a desk with yet another chair pushed against one of the walls, and sets of shelves here and there wherever they can it. The far end of the room is an open space containing the kitchen, outfitted with the basics and little more.
She leads Darin to the table, which is covered in a bright yellow tablecloth embroidered with a sunflower motif. A few jars of ointments and small box of cloth bandages sit upon one side of the table. On the other end is a basket containing a torn crimson vest and holster carrying a handgun-- things that don't look like they belong to Zelda. ]
You can set them down here.
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[Darin scans the apartment with veiled interest; he notices the vest and handgun but doesn't say anything despite the apparent urge to ask about them. They don't seem like Zelda's but...then again, how much does he really know about her?]
[Considering what he can see of her apartment, she's not one for extravagance...which he can relate to. Darin felt much more at home in a forge and considering his home and his old forge were linked, 'home' was more about a place to sleep and a place to work rather than anything else. Darin could barely even remember his old home; the cabin he shared with his brother and father. That had been burned down when he was a child and hardly any memory remained of it.]
[Honestly, Darin had a lot of thoughts on the concept of 'home' but none he'd be willing to share with anyone just yet.]
[He moves to the table and places the bags of first aid supplies on the table, then gestures for Zelda to sit while he pulls up a chair in front of her.]
Alright...let's see the damage.
[His face looks serious but that's because he's trying not to show too much concern. His voice betrays him, though.]
You got attacked by a ghost too?
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She nods as she lifts her right arm for him. The cloth bandage wrapped neatly around her arm from wrist to elbow is still nice and clean, proof that Zelda is being careful not to use this arm very much. ]
I was, yes. [ And he said he was as well, something she'll want to ask him about too. ] The spirit took the form of my father and on the first night it visited me, I thought it was truly him. It looked and sounded just like him... it even had his memories. Even after I realized it was draining my essence, I couldn't bring myself to drive it away.
On the second night that it visited me, a man I met on Naughtilust approached us outside. He saw how the ghost was draining me and intervened to protect me. He did... something, I don't know what, but he forced the ghost to transform and it attacked us. I tried to stay out of the way, but there was another spirit near by, the one that had been haunting him, and it caught me.
[ She leaves her story hanging there as she watches Darin handle her arm. It doesn't feel necessary to trouble him with the rest... ]
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I didn't know your father was dead...I'm sorry. That...must have been a nightmare.
[There's a pause as Darin inspects the wound and starts to pull out some supplies; antiseptic, gauze, bandages...a box of band-aids featuring a colorful, animated yellow sponge falls out of the bag and he quickly shoves it back in.]
...Mine took the form of my brother. The first night he was...about seven years old. The age when I lost him. The next...
[He pauses as if he's searching for the words to continue. In truth, he has the words...but the connotations would lead to more questions.]
...The next night, he turned into a monstrosity. He was more than just a danger to me.
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Underneath the bandages is a square of gauze which covers the wound on the top of her forearm. It is not cut or slash, but a large puncture wound, about the size of a coin, closed and scabbed over. The swelling around it is minimal and there is no sign of infection. It has clearly been well cared for and should fully heal without leaving behind any permanent damage.
Zelda listens with a serious expression, lips drawing into a line as Darin describes his ghost. A brother, lost as a child. Darin has never mentioned a brother before. ]
Dangerous how? [ She probes gently, knowing how easily she can set him off when she asks more than he's willing to share. ]
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...He's my twin. I wasn't the only one born with my abilities. His name is—was— Dromas. Same face but his hair is a deeper, moss green. Kinda wild, down to his shoulders.
[Surely Zelda can imagine that a man with Darin's strength would be dangerous but his explanation might not make sense. If Dromas died as a child, why would he be dangerous now? Even with his supposed strength, a child would have a significant disadvantage...]
[Darin's hands move deftly; gentle and precise despite the hardened callouses on his fingers and palms. Twenty years in the forge have made his hands strong and hard but it's apparent from his control that he's used to being as careful as he can be. He sprays the wound carefully with antiseptic and carefully places a new square of gauze over it; the wound might be scabbed but one wrong move could reopen it again. Then, he holds one end of the bandage with his thumb just below the inside of her elbow.]
Hold here, please?
[Once she's got it pinned, he begins to wrap.]
...It's my fault he died in the first place. Always was afraid he'd haunt me just never expected it here and now.
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No, what catches Zelda's attention is how Darin insists that he is responsible for his brother's death. That... That can't be right. It doesn't matter that she doesn't know the circumstances that lead to Dromas' death; there's no way Darin intentionally killed his own brother. They were only children. Whatever happened, whether an accident or something worse, the fault could not possibly lie with Darin-- with either of them. She refuses to entertain the thought that he was any less a victim than his brother.
However, Zelda keep this conclusion to herself as she quietly holds the end of the bandage in place. It's not her place to speak on something she knows nothing about and doubtless all she'll manage to do is upset Darin. ]
That soul was not truly his. [ She offers. ] It was... blank, originally. Somehow, you imprinted your memories of your brother onto it and that is why it took his form.
[ Rem said that was just a theory, but having had time to think about it, it makes the most sense. ]
CW: Death/Trauma/Survivor's Guilt
[But the fact remains that the events of that night are forever burned into his memory and the lone scar across his back will forever mark that night. Darin was a notorious crybaby as a child; always hiding behind his twin brother who was the more vocal of the two. That night, when they were attacked, Darin was supposed to be the first to be cut down.]
[But he ran and Dromas had stood between him and his assailant. The blade passed clean through and tore through Darin's back. Then, his father fell. And Darin hid under his fallen body, pretending to be dead, holding in his cries until their assailants left.]
[If Darin were braver, Darin would have been the one cut down first. Dromas would have survived, probably. And then...maybe all of the things happening bak home wouldn't be happening.]
[He's about to tie off the bandage when Zelda explains the source of the phantoms and that makes his gaze snap up incredulously.]
Y...You mean...
You mean Dromas wasn't— [He has to pause and physically swallow the lump forming in his throat.]
...It wasn't really him?
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It wasn't, no. Nor was my father. They were more like... empty vessels, I think, souls who had somehow forgotten who they once were. They escaped from their caretaker and spread throughout the leviathans. I believe they sought us out in order to siphon our life energy so that they might live again.
[ She knows more, but this is as much as she'll share. Whoever-- whatever-- Rem is, it's not for Zelda to share her secrets.
Thus, she pivots the conversation just slightly. ] Were you injured?
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[It takes him a minute to regain himself, to realize that Zelda had even asked him a question. His attention snaps back to the task at hand and he lowers his head to focus more on tying off the bandage. It's neat and snug, tight enough to keep the wound safely covered but comfortable enough that Zelda won't lose any circulation.]
[With that done, Darin nods a bit and lifts an arm to remove one of the bracers covering his forearms. Zelda will see a massive bruise going from wrist to elbow; evidence that his forearms were at least cracked if not outright broken. But the discoloration denotes that he's already mostly healed.]
[He doesn't clasp the bracer back on right away.]
I...like I said, the first night my brother was a child. The next...he was my age. Which...it's a long and complicated story but before I left my world he'd come back and he...he wasn't the same. He was strong. Stronger than me. And angry.
So...hearing that it wasn't actually him...
[It's a relief. A clear relief. And he can't find the words to finish his sentence.]
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Besides, what he says is just as worrying as what he must have gone through. ]
What do you mean, he "came back?"
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[His hands ball into fists briefly. What happens if he tells her? Would she be scared of him? He wouldn't blame her but...]
[But Zelda is pretty much his first friend. And somehow she's managed to want to stick around despite the fact he's been an incredible ass to her.]
[He clasps the bracer back onto his arm.]
I don't know the details. [It's not a lie. He doesn't know everything about how Dromas came back. Just that he was somehow given a new body and raised in the realm of the Archfiends.]
Not...all of them. But he's alive. And...he hates me. Before I arrived here I was on the run. Being hunted down for an assassination I didn't commit. There was an eye witness...someone saw a man who looked exactly like me with blue hair. So...that's all they needed. I was in Arclight that day and people...
Well, people didn't need much of a reason to suspect me.
[He stands and starts to pace, running a hand through his hair, pointedly avoiding eye contact.]
Long story short, I escaped and chased down the guy who framed me. It...It was Dromas.
He'd dyed his hair blue knowing I'd be blamed. He wanted me to find him.
[And then he massacred the entire city of Eruyeka just to prove a point. To show Darin how strong he should be.]
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Her expression turns serious as she listens. It's a lot to take in all at once: a twin brother with the same abilities, who either died and returned to life or nearly died and miraculously survived; an assassination that he framed Darin for, perhaps solely for the purpose of getting his attention; and Darin living as a fugitive until he arrived here. This, coupled with what she already knows about him... it's no wonder he's so distrusting. ]
I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to see him again... even if it wasn't truly his spirit that you met. [ She offers sympathetically, watching him as he paces. ] Especially considering...
[ Especially considering what happened before Darin arrived here. Especially considering there might be more that he's not telling her, and given everything he has told her, Zelda does not want to prod him further. ]
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[He doesn't want Zelda to pity him despite believing he truly is the most pitiable man ever.]
[But Dromas— the real one from his world— had made his intentions clear. He wanted to break Darin. To take away all of the comforts he'd known. Make him snap so that he could bring about the prophecy. The end of the world; the destruction of mankind. He hated that Darin got to live and he hadn't and he said as much before they parted. That Darin's was an idyllic life that a coward like him didn't deserve.]
[He decides to keep that to himself. Any mention of Dromas' intentions are likely to lead into a conversation about their origins. What they're meant to do. Keep it simple, Darin...]
He hated that I got to live. Hated me. I don't blame him. But coming here...I thought it might have been a blessing. I thought that maybe he'd never find me. So, when I saw him I thought...I thought this world was in danger because of me.
[He sighs and drags a hand down his face.]
But it's fine. It's fine, like you said. It wasn't him. Everyone's safe.
[He glances over his shoulder and smiles weakly at Zelda.]
...How's the bandage? Did I tie it too tight?
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Could the same be true of Darin's brother? Perhaps it's naive, but Zelda hopes so. She does not have any siblings of her own, but she remembers Link with his sister and Mipha with Sidon and can't imagine hatred between them.
A thought she keeps to herself.
Darin glances back at her and Zelda sees that... he doesn't look good. What pity and sympathy he might have briefly seen in her expression disappear and worry takes their place. It seems like he's trying to deflect and change the subject, but he still seems tense and troubled.
She rises from her chair and walks over to him, shaking her head as she approaches. ] It is fine. You tied it well.
[ Zelda reaches out with her left hand to touch his arm, tilting her head inquisitively as she looks up at him. He doesn't seem like he's all right; he's avoided looking at her since he stood up. She searches his expression for an explanation. ] Are you all right?
[ Because he doesn't look like it. ]
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[It's general kindness and gentleness that he's less accustomed to. To say that Darin is touch-starved is an understatement. Acteon loved Darin with all of his heart but the man was about as gentle as a bomb. Punches in the shoulder, claps on the back and chest, and a hair tousle that would knock your brain around were his preferred methods of affection and that's what Darin's known for as long as he can remember.]
[To his credit though, he doesn't pull away or outright rebuff her. He's trying.]
[And it's evident on his features. When he lifts his gaze to Zelda it's fearful. Anxious. But he doesn't like that side of him. That part of him that's still the scared, crybaby child. His life since the night he lost his brother and father was dominated by one thought: "How would Dromas act?" It gave him courage and a persona to be someone people might actually like.]
[If anyone knew the real Darin...well, no one would like that person. Darin couldn't stand him.]
[He manages a grin. That damnable mask is up once more.]
I'm...I'm fine. It was just a lot. And...like I said, Dromas is dangerous. He's a lot stronger than I am. He seems to know how to use his abilities. Dromas was always physically stronger...I was just more resilient. So when I saw him transform into that...thing...I dunno. I thought he was going to take away the place I was starting to have here.
[Again.]
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She catches that moment of honesty in Darin's visage, but he whisks it away almost immediately. That fear is clearly something he doesn't want her to see.
But, having seen it, she now reads it between his words. He's... still quite shaken from this encounter, even though he seems to want her to believe that he isn't. That he mentions Dromas knows how to use their unique abilities sticks out to Zelda. As does his worry that Dromas was going to take away Darin's place here. ]
You were able to stop him, though. [ She counters gently. ]
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Here? Barely. I had help at the last second and if I hadn't, I was going to do my damndest to take him with me. I'm not letting what happened to Eruteka happen here.
[He catches the slip and winces. Time to try and change the subject.]
You said you saw your father...? What was he like? Was he a researcher like you?
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But worse than that is what he actually says, implying that he was willing to give up his own life in order to keep the monster that took the form of Dromas from doing harm.
And then Darin has the audacity to decide that no, he's done with this conversation. The abrupt change in his attitude makes the usually-patient Zelda bristle. ]
My father? [ She frowns, striding around him to stand beside her table. ] No, don't you try to change the subject. What happened?
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What happened? Someone came and helped. I got to watch my brother die again, this time by my own hand. What more do you want? What, you want a play-by-play?
[Or was she talking about Eruyeka? Like hell he was going to tell her that. Darin already said Dromas was stronger than him, she doesn't need to know he wiped out a city. He doesn't need anyone else to know how much of a danger he could be simply by existing here.]
[He glowers down at her.]
Or, maybe you're the one who doesn't wanna talk now?? It's easier to pry into someone else's life isn't it?
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I will tell you everything you want to know about my father, but not until you tell me what you are so afraid of. You cannot simply tell me that you were prepared to use your own life to end his and expect me to leave it at that.
[ Originally, she intended to be more gentle about this. Everything he's already shared about his brother paints a troubling picture, to say the least. But she isn't going to allow him to attack her like this when all she's trying to do is understand what he went through. ]
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[Darin lowers himself closer to Zelda's face as he gestures sharply to the side with his right arm.]
What the hell does it even matter to you?! You barely know me! I saved your life once and for some reason you've got me painted as some...some paragon of virtue! I acted without thinking! I'm not some damn hero or champion or anything, Zelda! I'm just a blacksmith who doesn't want to see people die anymore!
[He whips around and makes for the door, but stops. he runs both hands through his hair in frustration, then whips around again.]
You want to know why I was prepared to use my own life?? Fine! When I met Dromas in Eruyeka before I got here, he wanted to prove a point. Namely, the fact that I'm supposed to be a lot more powerful than I am. And he decided to prove his point by wiping Eruyeka off the map. It's gone. The city, the people. He killed them all and used his powers to turn every building, every body into a spire. "A monument to mark the beginning of our destiny" he called it.
[He hates this. He hates recounting the events of that day. But somewhere deep in his mind, he thinks that maybe he can scare Zelda. Make her believe he's dangerous. Too much trouble. He couldn't push her away by being abrasive and cagey so maybe it's time he just tries to make her fear him.]
[He gestures wide and grans as he recounts the story, straightening up to his full height as if he were regaling her with some incredible tale or legend. And when he's done, he holds his ground; chest puffed out, hands clenched at his sides. Resolute.]
I didn't want that for Eltrut. I couldn't live with myself if that happened again. If I have to go down to make sure no one else has to suffer, Zelda, I will do it without a second thought because who the hell am I to weigh my stupid life against everyone else's? Against all of you.
[And there's the crux of it. His life isn't worth the same as anyone else's. In his eyes, it never has been. And so he'd gladly sacrifice it if it meant those more deserving got to keep theirs. Losing him would be better for everyone anyway, in the end. If he's gone, there's no prophecy.]
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For a moment, she worries that she's gone too far when he strides towards the door and she wonders frantically if she should try to stop him. The last time she tried to stop someone from leaving her home, they attacked her and then ran off anyway. Zelda feels like she knows Darin better than she knows Louis, but he also just yelled at her that she doesn't.
But he stays anyway and Zelda listens in silence as he lets out all his anger and all his fear. At the end of his story, she's shaken, this time visibly, and steadies herself with her left hand against the tabletop. No wonder he fears his own power-- to see it used not only to snuff out an entire city, but to warp even the bodies of the dead into something twisted and frightening.
If Darin had stopped there, he might have succeeded in actually scaring Zelda (at least temporarily). It's terrifying to imagine how his strength could be used to effortlessly kill everyone on Eltrut. But he doesn't stop, and when she hears what she knows to be the heart of the matter (because Zelda knows, better than most, about sacrificing oneself to protect others), her fear immediately dissipates. Over and over he insists that he is not selfless, not heroic, not virtuous, and yet in the next breath insists that use his own life to protect everyone else's.
But it doesn't come from a place of altruism, does it? It comes from a place of deserving... or, in this case, undeserving. ]
You truly think your life is worth less than anyone else's? [ The harshness is gone from her tone, but her question is still a challenge against him. ]
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[But he doesn't back down. If Zelda really desired to know, then fine. Fine. She can pity him and understand why he won't change his mind on this.]
You want to know who I am, Zelda? Really know?
My name is Darin Altway. The mere act of being born cost my mother her life. As a child, I survived an attack that I shouldn't have. An attack that took my brother Dromas, and my father Dracer. I ran and my brother tried to save me. He got cut down and all I bore was the scar across my back.
People with hair like mine are rumored to be descended from demons. The first thing I remember when I woke up in a strange bed, bandaged and clinging to life were adults arguing over who would take "The Cursed Child." And for a year, that's what I was. A burden to be passed around. No one wanted me. Everyone was afraid that keeping me around would lead them to the same fate as my family. No one had the courage to put me in an orphanage because "they owed it to my father" but apparently they didn't owe him enough to actually want me around.
[As he talks, his voice grows more somber. He laughs at that last sentence; a cold and bitter, mocking laugh.]
It's only by a miracle that Acteon took me in. And the only reason he didn't do it sooner is because he thought others were more well-suited to take care of a child. If it hadn't been for him, I would have been sent to an orphanage and no doubt conscripted into the army when I was old enough.
I hide my strength because people are scared of me. When I healed from something that should have killed me, people thought I was a monster. That sooner or later I'd become something terrifying. That I'd hurt them.
[He keeps the prophecy to himself. Dromas had only told Darin about it at their meeting in Eruyeka and talking about it felt like it might manifest somehow.]
So you tell me: is my life really worth the same as anyone else's? Because if it was, why didn't anyone want me? If the cost of saving a city is one life, why not the one that nobody wanted? No one would miss it.
[The lump is back in his throat. Darin wears his heart on his sleeve, earnest and true. And admitting now, with his own voice, that he was never wanted cuts deeper than the blade that tried to cleave him as a child. He doesn't want to be a bad man. But the world decided he was and fate seemed to conspire with them. All he wants is to do one good thing with his life. Even if he's never wanted, even if no one remembers him, it would validate his existence.]
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