[Darin's eye twitches as he visibly resists a wince when he uncovers the wound. Darin might heal from physical damage faster than most people but he still feels pain. And this wound would have especially hurt. He examines how far along she's healed and looks for any inflammation or infection. Satisfied that Zelda had been properly taking care of it, he begins the treatment while he talks.]
...He's my twin. I wasn't the only one born with my abilities. His name is—was— Dromas. Same face but his hair is a deeper, moss green. Kinda wild, down to his shoulders.
[Surely Zelda can imagine that a man with Darin's strength would be dangerous but his explanation might not make sense. If Dromas died as a child, why would he be dangerous now? Even with his supposed strength, a child would have a significant disadvantage...]
[Darin's hands move deftly; gentle and precise despite the hardened callouses on his fingers and palms. Twenty years in the forge have made his hands strong and hard but it's apparent from his control that he's used to being as careful as he can be. He sprays the wound carefully with antiseptic and carefully places a new square of gauze over it; the wound might be scabbed but one wrong move could reopen it again. Then, he holds one end of the bandage with his thumb just below the inside of her elbow.]
Hold here, please?
[Once she's got it pinned, he begins to wrap.]
...It's my fault he died in the first place. Always was afraid he'd haunt me just never expected it here and now.
[ The mention that his brother shared his same abilities is all the explanation Zelda feels she needs to understand why the monster his ghost transformed into would be a danger. Even though the spirits were not actually the people they took the shape of, they somehow mimicked their abilities. A monster possessing Darin's abilities as well as the ability to siphon someone's vitality would be a formidable foe.
No, what catches Zelda's attention is how Darin insists that he is responsible for his brother's death. That... That can't be right. It doesn't matter that she doesn't know the circumstances that lead to Dromas' death; there's no way Darin intentionally killed his own brother. They were only children. Whatever happened, whether an accident or something worse, the fault could not possibly lie with Darin-- with either of them. She refuses to entertain the thought that he was any less a victim than his brother.
However, Zelda keep this conclusion to herself as she quietly holds the end of the bandage in place. It's not her place to speak on something she knows nothing about and doubtless all she'll manage to do is upset Darin. ]
That soul was not truly his. [ She offers. ] It was... blank, originally. Somehow, you imprinted your memories of your brother onto it and that is why it took his form.
[ Rem said that was just a theory, but having had time to think about it, it makes the most sense. ]
[Darin wouldn't really get upset if Zelda had fought him on his insistence that he's the reason for his brother's death. He'd heard much the same from both Acteon and Kessler; two men he held in the highest regard.]
[But the fact remains that the events of that night are forever burned into his memory and the lone scar across his back will forever mark that night. Darin was a notorious crybaby as a child; always hiding behind his twin brother who was the more vocal of the two. That night, when they were attacked, Darin was supposed to be the first to be cut down.]
[But he ran and Dromas had stood between him and his assailant. The blade passed clean through and tore through Darin's back. Then, his father fell. And Darin hid under his fallen body, pretending to be dead, holding in his cries until their assailants left.]
[If Darin were braver, Darin would have been the one cut down first. Dromas would have survived, probably. And then...maybe all of the things happening bak home wouldn't be happening.]
[He's about to tie off the bandage when Zelda explains the source of the phantoms and that makes his gaze snap up incredulously.]
Y...You mean...
You mean Dromas wasn't— [He has to pause and physically swallow the lump forming in his throat.]
[ Oh. That's a look she hasn't seen on his face before. Nor an emotion she's heard in his voice either, something so raw and vulnerable and choked up. Zelda is a little taken aback by the way he looks up at her, but her expression quickly softens and she shakes her head in affirmation. ]
It wasn't, no. Nor was my father. They were more like... empty vessels, I think, souls who had somehow forgotten who they once were. They escaped from their caretaker and spread throughout the leviathans. I believe they sought us out in order to siphon our life energy so that they might live again.
[ She knows more, but this is as much as she'll share. Whoever-- whatever-- Rem is, it's not for Zelda to share her secrets.
Thus, she pivots the conversation just slightly. ] Were you injured?
[Darin might be looking at her but it's evident from the expression on his face he's looking miles beyond her. If what Zelda was saying was true then...then Dromas hadn't actually been here. No one on this world was in danger— at least, not any more danger than they'd be in with him here.]
[It takes him a minute to regain himself, to realize that Zelda had even asked him a question. His attention snaps back to the task at hand and he lowers his head to focus more on tying off the bandage. It's neat and snug, tight enough to keep the wound safely covered but comfortable enough that Zelda won't lose any circulation.]
[With that done, Darin nods a bit and lifts an arm to remove one of the bracers covering his forearms. Zelda will see a massive bruise going from wrist to elbow; evidence that his forearms were at least cracked if not outright broken. But the discoloration denotes that he's already mostly healed.]
[He doesn't clasp the bracer back on right away.]
I...like I said, the first night my brother was a child. The next...he was my age. Which...it's a long and complicated story but before I left my world he'd come back and he...he wasn't the same. He was strong. Stronger than me. And angry.
So...hearing that it wasn't actually him...
[It's a relief. A clear relief. And he can't find the words to finish his sentence.]
[ Zelda draws back her freshly bandaged arm and rests it in her lap, brows furrowing as her eyes roam over the bruise Darin reveals to her. Knowing what she knows of how quickly he heals, if this is what still remains several days later, his injuries must have been severe. Her left hand twitches with the urge to reach out and offer aid, but there's little to be done at this stage, so she holds herself back.
Besides, what he says is just as worrying as what he must have gone through. ]
[Darin's quiet and Zelda can likely sense why. Discussing this is not only incredibly personal but it could lead to further questions. Questions about the nature and origin of his powers. The prophecy. Everything he is.]
[His hands ball into fists briefly. What happens if he tells her? Would she be scared of him? He wouldn't blame her but...]
[But Zelda is pretty much his first friend. And somehow she's managed to want to stick around despite the fact he's been an incredible ass to her.]
[He clasps the bracer back onto his arm.]
I don't know the details. [It's not a lie. He doesn't know everything about how Dromas came back. Just that he was somehow given a new body and raised in the realm of the Archfiends.]
Not...all of them. But he's alive. And...he hates me. Before I arrived here I was on the run. Being hunted down for an assassination I didn't commit. There was an eye witness...someone saw a man who looked exactly like me with blue hair. So...that's all they needed. I was in Arclight that day and people...
Well, people didn't need much of a reason to suspect me.
[He stands and starts to pace, running a hand through his hair, pointedly avoiding eye contact.]
Long story short, I escaped and chased down the guy who framed me. It...It was Dromas.
He'd dyed his hair blue knowing I'd be blamed. He wanted me to find him.
[And then he massacred the entire city of Eruyeka just to prove a point. To show Darin how strong he should be.]
[ Zelda knows that Darin doesn't particularly like to talk about personal matters. It's always a gamble whether he'll be willing to open up or whether he'll be cagey and defensive. So when he is initially hesitant to answer, she mentally prepares for the latter... and is surprised when she receives the former instead.
Her expression turns serious as she listens. It's a lot to take in all at once: a twin brother with the same abilities, who either died and returned to life or nearly died and miraculously survived; an assassination that he framed Darin for, perhaps solely for the purpose of getting his attention; and Darin living as a fugitive until he arrived here. This, coupled with what she already knows about him... it's no wonder he's so distrusting. ]
I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to see him again... even if it wasn't truly his spirit that you met. [ She offers sympathetically, watching him as he paces. ] Especially considering...
[ Especially considering what happened before Darin arrived here. Especially considering there might be more that he's not telling her, and given everything he has told her, Zelda does not want to prod him further. ]
[There's more. Gods, there's so much more. Darin stops with his back to Zelda and she can see his hands clenching and relaxing as he wrestles with his own thoughts. Part of him wants to turn around and gauge her expression; he's good at that. He can read people. He can see the exact moment where pity or condescension for the 'poor demonkin' slips into a person's eyes coming from a mile away.]
[He doesn't want Zelda to pity him despite believing he truly is the most pitiable man ever.]
[But Dromas— the real one from his world— had made his intentions clear. He wanted to break Darin. To take away all of the comforts he'd known. Make him snap so that he could bring about the prophecy. The end of the world; the destruction of mankind. He hated that Darin got to live and he hadn't and he said as much before they parted. That Darin's was an idyllic life that a coward like him didn't deserve.]
[He decides to keep that to himself. Any mention of Dromas' intentions are likely to lead into a conversation about their origins. What they're meant to do. Keep it simple, Darin...]
He hated that I got to live. Hated me. I don't blame him. But coming here...I thought it might have been a blessing. I thought that maybe he'd never find me. So, when I saw him I thought...I thought this world was in danger because of me.
[He sighs and drags a hand down his face.]
But it's fine. It's fine, like you said. It wasn't him. Everyone's safe.
[He glances over his shoulder and smiles weakly at Zelda.]
[ Hatred. What a terrible thing to hear from one's own family. Even when things were at their worst between Zelda and her father, he never said he hated her. And she never hated him, not truly. She thought she did, at times during her adolescence, when all of her prayers and training yielded no results and her father refused to give her the comfort and encouragement she longed for. But deep down, she always loved him.
Could the same be true of Darin's brother? Perhaps it's naive, but Zelda hopes so. She does not have any siblings of her own, but she remembers Link with his sister and Mipha with Sidon and can't imagine hatred between them.
A thought she keeps to herself.
Darin glances back at her and Zelda sees that... he doesn't look good. What pity and sympathy he might have briefly seen in her expression disappear and worry takes their place. It seems like he's trying to deflect and change the subject, but he still seems tense and troubled.
She rises from her chair and walks over to him, shaking her head as she approaches. ] It is fine. You tied it well.
[ Zelda reaches out with her left hand to touch his arm, tilting her head inquisitively as she looks up at him. He doesn't seem like he's all right; he's avoided looking at her since he stood up. She searches his expression for an explanation. ] Are you all right?
[Darin looks down at Zelda's hand on his arm. She might feel his muscle tense and flinch; it's not that he fears physical contact. Far from it, actually. Darin's been known to ignore personal space but that's always been on his terms.]
[It's general kindness and gentleness that he's less accustomed to. To say that Darin is touch-starved is an understatement. Acteon loved Darin with all of his heart but the man was about as gentle as a bomb. Punches in the shoulder, claps on the back and chest, and a hair tousle that would knock your brain around were his preferred methods of affection and that's what Darin's known for as long as he can remember.]
[To his credit though, he doesn't pull away or outright rebuff her. He's trying.]
[And it's evident on his features. When he lifts his gaze to Zelda it's fearful. Anxious. But he doesn't like that side of him. That part of him that's still the scared, crybaby child. His life since the night he lost his brother and father was dominated by one thought: "How would Dromas act?" It gave him courage and a persona to be someone people might actually like.]
[If anyone knew the real Darin...well, no one would like that person. Darin couldn't stand him.]
[He manages a grin. That damnable mask is up once more.]
I'm...I'm fine. It was just a lot. And...like I said, Dromas is dangerous. He's a lot stronger than I am. He seems to know how to use his abilities. Dromas was always physically stronger...I was just more resilient. So when I saw him transform into that...thing...I dunno. I thought he was going to take away the place I was starting to have here.
[ Zelda expects him to flinch and pull away from her, so she's surprised when only one of those things happens. Darin never seems to have much of a problem intruding on her personal space, but he tends to react unfavorably when she intrudes on his. In that regard, he reminds of how Link used to act, back when Zelda first started to bridge the gulf between them. Link used to go completely rigid whenever Zelda so much as accidentally brushed against him. He was so high strung back then, never relaxing, never letting his guard down for a minute. It took a long time for him to learn to relax around Zelda, and even longer to stop jumping whenever she touched him.
She catches that moment of honesty in Darin's visage, but he whisks it away almost immediately. That fear is clearly something he doesn't want her to see.
But, having seen it, she now reads it between his words. He's... still quite shaken from this encounter, even though he seems to want her to believe that he isn't. That he mentions Dromas knows how to use their unique abilities sticks out to Zelda. As does his worry that Dromas was going to take away Darin's place here. ]
You were able to stop him, though. [ She counters gently. ]
[That draws a sardonic laugh from his lips as he turns back towards the table.]
Here? Barely. I had help at the last second and if I hadn't, I was going to do my damndest to take him with me. I'm not letting what happened to Eruteka happen here.
[He catches the slip and winces. Time to try and change the subject.]
You said you saw your father...? What was he like? Was he a researcher like you?
[ Well that's not the reaction she was hoping for. Here she is, trying to be encouraging because he seems upset, and he brushes her off. First he confides in her, then he throws up his walls again. It's like there's a time limit to his honesty; once the time's up, all hope for a proper conversation is over.
But worse than that is what he actually says, implying that he was willing to give up his own life in order to keep the monster that took the form of Dromas from doing harm.
And then Darin has the audacity to decide that no, he's done with this conversation. The abrupt change in his attitude makes the usually-patient Zelda bristle. ]
My father? [ She frowns, striding around him to stand beside her table. ] No, don't you try to change the subject. What happened?
What happened? Someone came and helped. I got to watch my brother die again, this time by my own hand. What more do you want? What, you want a play-by-play?
[Or was she talking about Eruyeka? Like hell he was going to tell her that. Darin already said Dromas was stronger than him, she doesn't need to know he wiped out a city. He doesn't need anyone else to know how much of a danger he could be simply by existing here.]
[He glowers down at her.]
Or, maybe you're the one who doesn't wanna talk now?? It's easier to pry into someone else's life isn't it?
[ This is hardly the first time Zelda has been on the receiving end of Darin's attitude, so she doesn't balk at it. She remains beside the table, right arm held carefully in front of her, challenging him on his attempt to intimidate her. ]
I will tell you everything you want to know about my father, but not until you tell me what you are so afraid of. You cannot simply tell me that you were prepared to use your own life to end his and expect me to leave it at that.
[ Originally, she intended to be more gentle about this. Everything he's already shared about his brother paints a troubling picture, to say the least. But she isn't going to allow him to attack her like this when all she's trying to do is understand what he went through. ]
Who the hell cares?! If that's what has to happen to keep Eltrut or any of the other cities from being lost, then that's a damn small price to pay!
[Darin lowers himself closer to Zelda's face as he gestures sharply to the side with his right arm.]
What the hell does it even matter to you?! You barely know me! I saved your life once and for some reason you've got me painted as some...some paragon of virtue! I acted without thinking! I'm not some damn hero or champion or anything, Zelda! I'm just a blacksmith who doesn't want to see people die anymore!
[He whips around and makes for the door, but stops. he runs both hands through his hair in frustration, then whips around again.]
You want to know why I was prepared to use my own life?? Fine! When I met Dromas in Eruyeka before I got here, he wanted to prove a point. Namely, the fact that I'm supposed to be a lot more powerful than I am. And he decided to prove his point by wiping Eruyeka off the map. It's gone. The city, the people. He killed them all and used his powers to turn every building, every body into a spire. "A monument to mark the beginning of our destiny" he called it.
[He hates this. He hates recounting the events of that day. But somewhere deep in his mind, he thinks that maybe he can scare Zelda. Make her believe he's dangerous. Too much trouble. He couldn't push her away by being abrasive and cagey so maybe it's time he just tries to make her fear him.]
[He gestures wide and grans as he recounts the story, straightening up to his full height as if he were regaling her with some incredible tale or legend. And when he's done, he holds his ground; chest puffed out, hands clenched at his sides. Resolute.]
I didn't want that for Eltrut. I couldn't live with myself if that happened again. If I have to go down to make sure no one else has to suffer, Zelda, I will do it without a second thought because who the hell am I to weigh my stupid life against everyone else's? Against all of you.
[And there's the crux of it. His life isn't worth the same as anyone else's. In his eyes, it never has been. And so he'd gladly sacrifice it if it meant those more deserving got to keep theirs. Losing him would be better for everyone anyway, in the end. If he's gone, there's no prophecy.]
[ It's decidedly more difficult to hold her ground when he starts shouting at her, but she somehow manages... even though a faint tremor runs through her form. She's not scared of him-- not scared that he'll hurt her, at least-- but his outburst is still frightening in itself. Rarely does anyone lose their temper with a princess.
For a moment, she worries that she's gone too far when he strides towards the door and she wonders frantically if she should try to stop him. The last time she tried to stop someone from leaving her home, they attacked her and then ran off anyway. Zelda feels like she knows Darin better than she knows Louis, but he also just yelled at her that she doesn't.
But he stays anyway and Zelda listens in silence as he lets out all his anger and all his fear. At the end of his story, she's shaken, this time visibly, and steadies herself with her left hand against the tabletop. No wonder he fears his own power-- to see it used not only to snuff out an entire city, but to warp even the bodies of the dead into something twisted and frightening.
If Darin had stopped there, he might have succeeded in actually scaring Zelda (at least temporarily). It's terrifying to imagine how his strength could be used to effortlessly kill everyone on Eltrut. But he doesn't stop, and when she hears what she knows to be the heart of the matter (because Zelda knows, better than most, about sacrificing oneself to protect others), her fear immediately dissipates. Over and over he insists that he is not selfless, not heroic, not virtuous, and yet in the next breath insists that use his own life to protect everyone else's.
But it doesn't come from a place of altruism, does it? It comes from a place of deserving... or, in this case, undeserving. ]
You truly think your life is worth less than anyone else's? [ The harshness is gone from her tone, but her question is still a challenge against him. ]
[Darin stands rigid, his heavy breathing flaring his nostrils. Fists balled at his sides so tight his nails have dug into the callouses; his knuckles bone white.]
[But he doesn't back down. If Zelda really desired to know, then fine. Fine. She can pity him and understand why he won't change his mind on this.]
You want to know who I am, Zelda? Really know?
My name is Darin Altway. The mere act of being born cost my mother her life. As a child, I survived an attack that I shouldn't have. An attack that took my brother Dromas, and my father Dracer. I ran and my brother tried to save me. He got cut down and all I bore was the scar across my back.
People with hair like mine are rumored to be descended from demons. The first thing I remember when I woke up in a strange bed, bandaged and clinging to life were adults arguing over who would take "The Cursed Child." And for a year, that's what I was. A burden to be passed around. No one wanted me. Everyone was afraid that keeping me around would lead them to the same fate as my family. No one had the courage to put me in an orphanage because "they owed it to my father" but apparently they didn't owe him enough to actually want me around.
[As he talks, his voice grows more somber. He laughs at that last sentence; a cold and bitter, mocking laugh.]
It's only by a miracle that Acteon took me in. And the only reason he didn't do it sooner is because he thought others were more well-suited to take care of a child. If it hadn't been for him, I would have been sent to an orphanage and no doubt conscripted into the army when I was old enough.
I hide my strength because people are scared of me. When I healed from something that should have killed me, people thought I was a monster. That sooner or later I'd become something terrifying. That I'd hurt them.
[He keeps the prophecy to himself. Dromas had only told Darin about it at their meeting in Eruyeka and talking about it felt like it might manifest somehow.]
So you tell me: is my life really worth the same as anyone else's? Because if it was, why didn't anyone want me? If the cost of saving a city is one life, why not the one that nobody wanted? No one would miss it.
[The lump is back in his throat. Darin wears his heart on his sleeve, earnest and true. And admitting now, with his own voice, that he was never wanted cuts deeper than the blade that tried to cleave him as a child. He doesn't want to be a bad man. But the world decided he was and fate seemed to conspire with them. All he wants is to do one good thing with his life. Even if he's never wanted, even if no one remembers him, it would validate his existence.]
[ It's hard to listen to his story, and harder still not to look away as he tells it, but she forces herself to. Because yes, she does want to know who he is. He's told her bits and pieces of his story here and there, and she recognizes those pieces when he reaches them. But this time, he lays them all out for her, in a line from start to finish, as if his life is a spectacle for her to judge.
It's not pity that fills her gaze as she listens, but sorrow. Sorrow to hear all the injustices he suffered as a child, only seven years old. Zelda knew loss at that age too, the untimely death of her mother, but at least she still had her father and Urbosa. Darin had no one. No one to care for him as he grieved the loss of his family. No one to tell him that their deaths were not his fault. How horrible, how cruel, to fear a child for reasons beyond his control.
Zelda remains silent, even as Darin challenges her to weigh the worth of his life. There are a thousand things she wants to say, a thousand ways she wants tell him that he did not deserve the cruelties he suffered as a child-- nor the stigmas he suffers yet today, all because of his unique power and the possibility that his heritage is less than completely human. He was right to run; he was a child. They were both children. His strength does not make him a monster; it is how he uses that strength that would. His brother proved that at Eruyeka.
But a handful of kind words will not undo years upon years of suffering. Worse, she doesn't want to make him think that she is trying to brush away his suffering with her words. He clearly carries far more scars than just the one across his back. Wounds like those take many years to heal. Hers have. Link's have.
So she chooses her words carefully, and when she finds them, they're small. Because she is small. She's only one person.
But so is he. Not a monster. Not a curse. Just a person. ]
[Darin stares at her. The edge in his eyes is gone, replaced with a mixture of confusion and incredulity.]
...Why?
[He doesn't understand. How could he? As far as he's concerned the only person who might miss him was in another world entirely. Acteon freed him from his prison transport. He sacrificed his own freedom because he believed Darin could find who framed him. He doesn't even know where Acteon was at that moment and the more he thought about it, the more tears stung his eyes.]
[Stubbornly, he shakes them out and returns Zelda's declaration with a hardened stare.]
Why the hell would you?? Because I saved you once? Because...Because I said we were friends? What possible investment could you have in me that you'd miss me when you've only barely learned who I am! What I can do!
[For all his protests, he's still standing, rooted in place. Desperation creeps into his body language— he pivots like he's looking for a way out. He shifts his weight back and forth between his feet and his hand constantly finds its way to comb through his damnable blue hair.]
I'm just one man. One stupid, cowardly man. I've run from everything! Hell, I'm trying to run from you right now!
[The tone of his voice shifts to pleading. Because something tells him that if he doesn't push her away right this moment, then he won't be able to walk away. And that, inevitably, he will hurt her. He hurts everyone. He's literally fated to do so.]
[ All his anger seems to have burned out, because even the way he glares at her doesn't carry the same intensity that it did a minute ago. His protests lack the same ferocity as before, sounding more desperate than cruel, as though he's trying to convince himself as much as her. ]
I disagree. I feel like I owe you quite a lot.
[ Despite how he looks like he's ready walk out the door at any moment, for whatever reason, he continues to hesitate.
Initially, Zelda remained beside the table out of fear-- fear of the force of his anger, fear that approaching him would drive him away. But now she takes a cautious step towards him, carefully watching his reaction. ]
Not because you saved me. But because I have enjoyed the time we've spent together. Because I've seen the brilliance of your designs and I want to help you bring them to life. Because you sampled those silly frogs with me.
[ By the time she finishes, she's about an arm's length away from him. And that's where she pauses, supporting her right arm with her left, careful of the bandage he just changed for her. ]
I cannot show you a sunset from the pinnacle of the sky to cheer you up, even though I wish that I could. All I have are my words. But I hope you can believe them, because they are the truth.
[For a moment, it does look like Darin might turn and flee out of the door. He watches Zelda slowly cross the room until she's close enough that they could both reach out to one another.]
[He hears Zelda's words and they're at complete odds with his worldview. His life. He has no reason to distrust her. She's been patient and considerate of his concerns and privacy. He's been so difficult with her and for what? Acteon and Kessler both proved that there were good people out there. People who would accept him.]
I'm still dangerous. I...I could still hurt you.
[He doesn't want to hurt anyone but people seem to get hurt just being around him.]
I'm cursed, remember?
[It's a weak, sardonic counter to her kind words. He's reaching; grasping at straws. Something to validate his fears. Dromas called him a coward and he's always known Dromas to know what he was talking about.]
[ His arguments are weak, half-hearted things, lacking any real fight, and that's how she can tell her words have managed to reach him. Are they things he truly believes, or just things he's heard so many times he assumes they're the truth? It's impossible not to internalize such cruelties, especially a lifetime's worth. Zelda is only just learning to believe that the Calamity was not her fault.
Zelda does not believe that he is cursed, but she stops short of asserting that. She doesn't want to overwhelm him anymore than she already has by challenging him on everything he believes about himself.
So instead, simply, ] I am not afraid of you.
[ She hesitates for a moment, then reaches out once more to lightly touch his arm with her left hand.
Is he dangerous? Certainly. Could he hurt her? Without question. But so could any other person, powers or not. Yes, perhaps the risk is greater with Darin should he lose control, and he has said himself that he barely knows his own strength, but Zelda can't find it in herself to fear him for that. That would be like fearing a lightning strike every time she hears thunder; she'd rather risk the danger to watch the storm than never see the beauty in each flash of electricity webbing across the sky. ]
[When she touches his arm this time, he doesn’t flinch. How can he? His entire body is tended up like a knot of steel cords. He lowers his gaze to the floor between them. He’s lost. Confused. The cognitive dissonance between what he feels and what Zelda is saying is deafening.]
[Because he knows her words come from a place of kindness. Even Acteon and Kessler knew what he could do and said much of the same. That they trust him. They aren’t scared of him. He’s not a monster.]
[But they didn’t see what Dromas did. They didn’t see what he was apparently capable of. And they didn’t know about the prophecy, about the origins of his power. That he’s an Archfiend God of destruction. That he’s literally supposed to be the end of Anmaral.]
[So while Zelda says she’s not afraid of him now, he can’t help but believe that will change. That if she ever learns the truth, she’ll be terrified of him. And, honestly? As much as that prospect hurts, he’d prefer it to actually hurting her. Or anyone for that matter. He’d rather be alone than disappoint people who came to trust him. If they can’t stand him, they can’t get hurt when he inevitably changes. He’ll be easier to stop.]
[He can’t meet her gaze but she could easily step into his.]
Then clearly you don’t recognize danger when you see it.
[One last push; a weak barb meant to try and cause her to get upset and withdraw. Before she starts to care too much.]
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...He's my twin. I wasn't the only one born with my abilities. His name is—was— Dromas. Same face but his hair is a deeper, moss green. Kinda wild, down to his shoulders.
[Surely Zelda can imagine that a man with Darin's strength would be dangerous but his explanation might not make sense. If Dromas died as a child, why would he be dangerous now? Even with his supposed strength, a child would have a significant disadvantage...]
[Darin's hands move deftly; gentle and precise despite the hardened callouses on his fingers and palms. Twenty years in the forge have made his hands strong and hard but it's apparent from his control that he's used to being as careful as he can be. He sprays the wound carefully with antiseptic and carefully places a new square of gauze over it; the wound might be scabbed but one wrong move could reopen it again. Then, he holds one end of the bandage with his thumb just below the inside of her elbow.]
Hold here, please?
[Once she's got it pinned, he begins to wrap.]
...It's my fault he died in the first place. Always was afraid he'd haunt me just never expected it here and now.
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No, what catches Zelda's attention is how Darin insists that he is responsible for his brother's death. That... That can't be right. It doesn't matter that she doesn't know the circumstances that lead to Dromas' death; there's no way Darin intentionally killed his own brother. They were only children. Whatever happened, whether an accident or something worse, the fault could not possibly lie with Darin-- with either of them. She refuses to entertain the thought that he was any less a victim than his brother.
However, Zelda keep this conclusion to herself as she quietly holds the end of the bandage in place. It's not her place to speak on something she knows nothing about and doubtless all she'll manage to do is upset Darin. ]
That soul was not truly his. [ She offers. ] It was... blank, originally. Somehow, you imprinted your memories of your brother onto it and that is why it took his form.
[ Rem said that was just a theory, but having had time to think about it, it makes the most sense. ]
CW: Death/Trauma/Survivor's Guilt
[But the fact remains that the events of that night are forever burned into his memory and the lone scar across his back will forever mark that night. Darin was a notorious crybaby as a child; always hiding behind his twin brother who was the more vocal of the two. That night, when they were attacked, Darin was supposed to be the first to be cut down.]
[But he ran and Dromas had stood between him and his assailant. The blade passed clean through and tore through Darin's back. Then, his father fell. And Darin hid under his fallen body, pretending to be dead, holding in his cries until their assailants left.]
[If Darin were braver, Darin would have been the one cut down first. Dromas would have survived, probably. And then...maybe all of the things happening bak home wouldn't be happening.]
[He's about to tie off the bandage when Zelda explains the source of the phantoms and that makes his gaze snap up incredulously.]
Y...You mean...
You mean Dromas wasn't— [He has to pause and physically swallow the lump forming in his throat.]
...It wasn't really him?
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It wasn't, no. Nor was my father. They were more like... empty vessels, I think, souls who had somehow forgotten who they once were. They escaped from their caretaker and spread throughout the leviathans. I believe they sought us out in order to siphon our life energy so that they might live again.
[ She knows more, but this is as much as she'll share. Whoever-- whatever-- Rem is, it's not for Zelda to share her secrets.
Thus, she pivots the conversation just slightly. ] Were you injured?
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[It takes him a minute to regain himself, to realize that Zelda had even asked him a question. His attention snaps back to the task at hand and he lowers his head to focus more on tying off the bandage. It's neat and snug, tight enough to keep the wound safely covered but comfortable enough that Zelda won't lose any circulation.]
[With that done, Darin nods a bit and lifts an arm to remove one of the bracers covering his forearms. Zelda will see a massive bruise going from wrist to elbow; evidence that his forearms were at least cracked if not outright broken. But the discoloration denotes that he's already mostly healed.]
[He doesn't clasp the bracer back on right away.]
I...like I said, the first night my brother was a child. The next...he was my age. Which...it's a long and complicated story but before I left my world he'd come back and he...he wasn't the same. He was strong. Stronger than me. And angry.
So...hearing that it wasn't actually him...
[It's a relief. A clear relief. And he can't find the words to finish his sentence.]
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Besides, what he says is just as worrying as what he must have gone through. ]
What do you mean, he "came back?"
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[His hands ball into fists briefly. What happens if he tells her? Would she be scared of him? He wouldn't blame her but...]
[But Zelda is pretty much his first friend. And somehow she's managed to want to stick around despite the fact he's been an incredible ass to her.]
[He clasps the bracer back onto his arm.]
I don't know the details. [It's not a lie. He doesn't know everything about how Dromas came back. Just that he was somehow given a new body and raised in the realm of the Archfiends.]
Not...all of them. But he's alive. And...he hates me. Before I arrived here I was on the run. Being hunted down for an assassination I didn't commit. There was an eye witness...someone saw a man who looked exactly like me with blue hair. So...that's all they needed. I was in Arclight that day and people...
Well, people didn't need much of a reason to suspect me.
[He stands and starts to pace, running a hand through his hair, pointedly avoiding eye contact.]
Long story short, I escaped and chased down the guy who framed me. It...It was Dromas.
He'd dyed his hair blue knowing I'd be blamed. He wanted me to find him.
[And then he massacred the entire city of Eruyeka just to prove a point. To show Darin how strong he should be.]
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Her expression turns serious as she listens. It's a lot to take in all at once: a twin brother with the same abilities, who either died and returned to life or nearly died and miraculously survived; an assassination that he framed Darin for, perhaps solely for the purpose of getting his attention; and Darin living as a fugitive until he arrived here. This, coupled with what she already knows about him... it's no wonder he's so distrusting. ]
I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been to see him again... even if it wasn't truly his spirit that you met. [ She offers sympathetically, watching him as he paces. ] Especially considering...
[ Especially considering what happened before Darin arrived here. Especially considering there might be more that he's not telling her, and given everything he has told her, Zelda does not want to prod him further. ]
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[He doesn't want Zelda to pity him despite believing he truly is the most pitiable man ever.]
[But Dromas— the real one from his world— had made his intentions clear. He wanted to break Darin. To take away all of the comforts he'd known. Make him snap so that he could bring about the prophecy. The end of the world; the destruction of mankind. He hated that Darin got to live and he hadn't and he said as much before they parted. That Darin's was an idyllic life that a coward like him didn't deserve.]
[He decides to keep that to himself. Any mention of Dromas' intentions are likely to lead into a conversation about their origins. What they're meant to do. Keep it simple, Darin...]
He hated that I got to live. Hated me. I don't blame him. But coming here...I thought it might have been a blessing. I thought that maybe he'd never find me. So, when I saw him I thought...I thought this world was in danger because of me.
[He sighs and drags a hand down his face.]
But it's fine. It's fine, like you said. It wasn't him. Everyone's safe.
[He glances over his shoulder and smiles weakly at Zelda.]
...How's the bandage? Did I tie it too tight?
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Could the same be true of Darin's brother? Perhaps it's naive, but Zelda hopes so. She does not have any siblings of her own, but she remembers Link with his sister and Mipha with Sidon and can't imagine hatred between them.
A thought she keeps to herself.
Darin glances back at her and Zelda sees that... he doesn't look good. What pity and sympathy he might have briefly seen in her expression disappear and worry takes their place. It seems like he's trying to deflect and change the subject, but he still seems tense and troubled.
She rises from her chair and walks over to him, shaking her head as she approaches. ] It is fine. You tied it well.
[ Zelda reaches out with her left hand to touch his arm, tilting her head inquisitively as she looks up at him. He doesn't seem like he's all right; he's avoided looking at her since he stood up. She searches his expression for an explanation. ] Are you all right?
[ Because he doesn't look like it. ]
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[It's general kindness and gentleness that he's less accustomed to. To say that Darin is touch-starved is an understatement. Acteon loved Darin with all of his heart but the man was about as gentle as a bomb. Punches in the shoulder, claps on the back and chest, and a hair tousle that would knock your brain around were his preferred methods of affection and that's what Darin's known for as long as he can remember.]
[To his credit though, he doesn't pull away or outright rebuff her. He's trying.]
[And it's evident on his features. When he lifts his gaze to Zelda it's fearful. Anxious. But he doesn't like that side of him. That part of him that's still the scared, crybaby child. His life since the night he lost his brother and father was dominated by one thought: "How would Dromas act?" It gave him courage and a persona to be someone people might actually like.]
[If anyone knew the real Darin...well, no one would like that person. Darin couldn't stand him.]
[He manages a grin. That damnable mask is up once more.]
I'm...I'm fine. It was just a lot. And...like I said, Dromas is dangerous. He's a lot stronger than I am. He seems to know how to use his abilities. Dromas was always physically stronger...I was just more resilient. So when I saw him transform into that...thing...I dunno. I thought he was going to take away the place I was starting to have here.
[Again.]
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She catches that moment of honesty in Darin's visage, but he whisks it away almost immediately. That fear is clearly something he doesn't want her to see.
But, having seen it, she now reads it between his words. He's... still quite shaken from this encounter, even though he seems to want her to believe that he isn't. That he mentions Dromas knows how to use their unique abilities sticks out to Zelda. As does his worry that Dromas was going to take away Darin's place here. ]
You were able to stop him, though. [ She counters gently. ]
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Here? Barely. I had help at the last second and if I hadn't, I was going to do my damndest to take him with me. I'm not letting what happened to Eruteka happen here.
[He catches the slip and winces. Time to try and change the subject.]
You said you saw your father...? What was he like? Was he a researcher like you?
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But worse than that is what he actually says, implying that he was willing to give up his own life in order to keep the monster that took the form of Dromas from doing harm.
And then Darin has the audacity to decide that no, he's done with this conversation. The abrupt change in his attitude makes the usually-patient Zelda bristle. ]
My father? [ She frowns, striding around him to stand beside her table. ] No, don't you try to change the subject. What happened?
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What happened? Someone came and helped. I got to watch my brother die again, this time by my own hand. What more do you want? What, you want a play-by-play?
[Or was she talking about Eruyeka? Like hell he was going to tell her that. Darin already said Dromas was stronger than him, she doesn't need to know he wiped out a city. He doesn't need anyone else to know how much of a danger he could be simply by existing here.]
[He glowers down at her.]
Or, maybe you're the one who doesn't wanna talk now?? It's easier to pry into someone else's life isn't it?
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I will tell you everything you want to know about my father, but not until you tell me what you are so afraid of. You cannot simply tell me that you were prepared to use your own life to end his and expect me to leave it at that.
[ Originally, she intended to be more gentle about this. Everything he's already shared about his brother paints a troubling picture, to say the least. But she isn't going to allow him to attack her like this when all she's trying to do is understand what he went through. ]
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[Darin lowers himself closer to Zelda's face as he gestures sharply to the side with his right arm.]
What the hell does it even matter to you?! You barely know me! I saved your life once and for some reason you've got me painted as some...some paragon of virtue! I acted without thinking! I'm not some damn hero or champion or anything, Zelda! I'm just a blacksmith who doesn't want to see people die anymore!
[He whips around and makes for the door, but stops. he runs both hands through his hair in frustration, then whips around again.]
You want to know why I was prepared to use my own life?? Fine! When I met Dromas in Eruyeka before I got here, he wanted to prove a point. Namely, the fact that I'm supposed to be a lot more powerful than I am. And he decided to prove his point by wiping Eruyeka off the map. It's gone. The city, the people. He killed them all and used his powers to turn every building, every body into a spire. "A monument to mark the beginning of our destiny" he called it.
[He hates this. He hates recounting the events of that day. But somewhere deep in his mind, he thinks that maybe he can scare Zelda. Make her believe he's dangerous. Too much trouble. He couldn't push her away by being abrasive and cagey so maybe it's time he just tries to make her fear him.]
[He gestures wide and grans as he recounts the story, straightening up to his full height as if he were regaling her with some incredible tale or legend. And when he's done, he holds his ground; chest puffed out, hands clenched at his sides. Resolute.]
I didn't want that for Eltrut. I couldn't live with myself if that happened again. If I have to go down to make sure no one else has to suffer, Zelda, I will do it without a second thought because who the hell am I to weigh my stupid life against everyone else's? Against all of you.
[And there's the crux of it. His life isn't worth the same as anyone else's. In his eyes, it never has been. And so he'd gladly sacrifice it if it meant those more deserving got to keep theirs. Losing him would be better for everyone anyway, in the end. If he's gone, there's no prophecy.]
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For a moment, she worries that she's gone too far when he strides towards the door and she wonders frantically if she should try to stop him. The last time she tried to stop someone from leaving her home, they attacked her and then ran off anyway. Zelda feels like she knows Darin better than she knows Louis, but he also just yelled at her that she doesn't.
But he stays anyway and Zelda listens in silence as he lets out all his anger and all his fear. At the end of his story, she's shaken, this time visibly, and steadies herself with her left hand against the tabletop. No wonder he fears his own power-- to see it used not only to snuff out an entire city, but to warp even the bodies of the dead into something twisted and frightening.
If Darin had stopped there, he might have succeeded in actually scaring Zelda (at least temporarily). It's terrifying to imagine how his strength could be used to effortlessly kill everyone on Eltrut. But he doesn't stop, and when she hears what she knows to be the heart of the matter (because Zelda knows, better than most, about sacrificing oneself to protect others), her fear immediately dissipates. Over and over he insists that he is not selfless, not heroic, not virtuous, and yet in the next breath insists that use his own life to protect everyone else's.
But it doesn't come from a place of altruism, does it? It comes from a place of deserving... or, in this case, undeserving. ]
You truly think your life is worth less than anyone else's? [ The harshness is gone from her tone, but her question is still a challenge against him. ]
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[But he doesn't back down. If Zelda really desired to know, then fine. Fine. She can pity him and understand why he won't change his mind on this.]
You want to know who I am, Zelda? Really know?
My name is Darin Altway. The mere act of being born cost my mother her life. As a child, I survived an attack that I shouldn't have. An attack that took my brother Dromas, and my father Dracer. I ran and my brother tried to save me. He got cut down and all I bore was the scar across my back.
People with hair like mine are rumored to be descended from demons. The first thing I remember when I woke up in a strange bed, bandaged and clinging to life were adults arguing over who would take "The Cursed Child." And for a year, that's what I was. A burden to be passed around. No one wanted me. Everyone was afraid that keeping me around would lead them to the same fate as my family. No one had the courage to put me in an orphanage because "they owed it to my father" but apparently they didn't owe him enough to actually want me around.
[As he talks, his voice grows more somber. He laughs at that last sentence; a cold and bitter, mocking laugh.]
It's only by a miracle that Acteon took me in. And the only reason he didn't do it sooner is because he thought others were more well-suited to take care of a child. If it hadn't been for him, I would have been sent to an orphanage and no doubt conscripted into the army when I was old enough.
I hide my strength because people are scared of me. When I healed from something that should have killed me, people thought I was a monster. That sooner or later I'd become something terrifying. That I'd hurt them.
[He keeps the prophecy to himself. Dromas had only told Darin about it at their meeting in Eruyeka and talking about it felt like it might manifest somehow.]
So you tell me: is my life really worth the same as anyone else's? Because if it was, why didn't anyone want me? If the cost of saving a city is one life, why not the one that nobody wanted? No one would miss it.
[The lump is back in his throat. Darin wears his heart on his sleeve, earnest and true. And admitting now, with his own voice, that he was never wanted cuts deeper than the blade that tried to cleave him as a child. He doesn't want to be a bad man. But the world decided he was and fate seemed to conspire with them. All he wants is to do one good thing with his life. Even if he's never wanted, even if no one remembers him, it would validate his existence.]
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It's not pity that fills her gaze as she listens, but sorrow. Sorrow to hear all the injustices he suffered as a child, only seven years old. Zelda knew loss at that age too, the untimely death of her mother, but at least she still had her father and Urbosa. Darin had no one. No one to care for him as he grieved the loss of his family. No one to tell him that their deaths were not his fault. How horrible, how cruel, to fear a child for reasons beyond his control.
Zelda remains silent, even as Darin challenges her to weigh the worth of his life. There are a thousand things she wants to say, a thousand ways she wants tell him that he did not deserve the cruelties he suffered as a child-- nor the stigmas he suffers yet today, all because of his unique power and the possibility that his heritage is less than completely human. He was right to run; he was a child. They were both children. His strength does not make him a monster; it is how he uses that strength that would. His brother proved that at Eruyeka.
But a handful of kind words will not undo years upon years of suffering. Worse, she doesn't want to make him think that she is trying to brush away his suffering with her words. He clearly carries far more scars than just the one across his back. Wounds like those take many years to heal. Hers have. Link's have.
So she chooses her words carefully, and when she finds them, they're small. Because she is small. She's only one person.
But so is he. Not a monster. Not a curse. Just a person. ]
I would.
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...Why?
[He doesn't understand. How could he? As far as he's concerned the only person who might miss him was in another world entirely. Acteon freed him from his prison transport. He sacrificed his own freedom because he believed Darin could find who framed him. He doesn't even know where Acteon was at that moment and the more he thought about it, the more tears stung his eyes.]
[Stubbornly, he shakes them out and returns Zelda's declaration with a hardened stare.]
Why the hell would you?? Because I saved you once? Because...Because I said we were friends? What possible investment could you have in me that you'd miss me when you've only barely learned who I am! What I can do!
[For all his protests, he's still standing, rooted in place. Desperation creeps into his body language— he pivots like he's looking for a way out. He shifts his weight back and forth between his feet and his hand constantly finds its way to comb through his damnable blue hair.]
I'm just one man. One stupid, cowardly man. I've run from everything! Hell, I'm trying to run from you right now!
[The tone of his voice shifts to pleading. Because something tells him that if he doesn't push her away right this moment, then he won't be able to walk away. And that, inevitably, he will hurt her. He hurts everyone. He's literally fated to do so.]
You don't owe me anything. You're better off.
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I disagree. I feel like I owe you quite a lot.
[ Despite how he looks like he's ready walk out the door at any moment, for whatever reason, he continues to hesitate.
Initially, Zelda remained beside the table out of fear-- fear of the force of his anger, fear that approaching him would drive him away. But now she takes a cautious step towards him, carefully watching his reaction. ]
Not because you saved me. But because I have enjoyed the time we've spent together. Because I've seen the brilliance of your designs and I want to help you bring them to life. Because you sampled those silly frogs with me.
[ By the time she finishes, she's about an arm's length away from him. And that's where she pauses, supporting her right arm with her left, careful of the bandage he just changed for her. ]
I cannot show you a sunset from the pinnacle of the sky to cheer you up, even though I wish that I could. All I have are my words. But I hope you can believe them, because they are the truth.
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[He hears Zelda's words and they're at complete odds with his worldview. His life. He has no reason to distrust her. She's been patient and considerate of his concerns and privacy. He's been so difficult with her and for what? Acteon and Kessler both proved that there were good people out there. People who would accept him.]
I'm still dangerous. I...I could still hurt you.
[He doesn't want to hurt anyone but people seem to get hurt just being around him.]
I'm cursed, remember?
[It's a weak, sardonic counter to her kind words. He's reaching; grasping at straws. Something to validate his fears. Dromas called him a coward and he's always known Dromas to know what he was talking about.]
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Zelda does not believe that he is cursed, but she stops short of asserting that. She doesn't want to overwhelm him anymore than she already has by challenging him on everything he believes about himself.
So instead, simply, ] I am not afraid of you.
[ She hesitates for a moment, then reaches out once more to lightly touch his arm with her left hand.
Is he dangerous? Certainly. Could he hurt her? Without question. But so could any other person, powers or not. Yes, perhaps the risk is greater with Darin should he lose control, and he has said himself that he barely knows his own strength, but Zelda can't find it in herself to fear him for that. That would be like fearing a lightning strike every time she hears thunder; she'd rather risk the danger to watch the storm than never see the beauty in each flash of electricity webbing across the sky. ]
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[Because he knows her words come from a place of kindness. Even Acteon and Kessler knew what he could do and said much of the same. That they trust him. They aren’t scared of him. He’s not a monster.]
[But they didn’t see what Dromas did. They didn’t see what he was apparently capable of. And they didn’t know about the prophecy, about the origins of his power. That he’s an Archfiend God of destruction. That he’s literally supposed to be the end of Anmaral.]
[So while Zelda says she’s not afraid of him now, he can’t help but believe that will change. That if she ever learns the truth, she’ll be terrified of him. And, honestly? As much as that prospect hurts, he’d prefer it to actually hurting her. Or anyone for that matter. He’d rather be alone than disappoint people who came to trust him. If they can’t stand him, they can’t get hurt when he inevitably changes. He’ll be easier to stop.]
[He can’t meet her gaze but she could easily step into his.]
Then clearly you don’t recognize danger when you see it.
[One last push; a weak barb meant to try and cause her to get upset and withdraw. Before she starts to care too much.]
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